she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize