yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
