You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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