Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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