i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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