my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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