Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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