In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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