just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
