I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
