I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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