If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You took a bar mat shot.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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