why didn't you poke me back
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
only if we run a train.
done.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
