My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
