I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
