I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
