Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
