Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
