I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
