How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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