He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
