You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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