I feel like abortions should bother me more
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
