ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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