I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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