I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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