My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
