so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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