After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
