I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize