Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
3pm strippers are depressing
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
