first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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