yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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