mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
the liver wants what the liver wants
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
