I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
