She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
