I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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