I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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