There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
