Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
they need to just BURY HIM!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
