he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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