she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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