no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
