Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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