My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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