Im at strip club and am horny
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
