Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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