he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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