I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Mom said you looked used
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
