I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am naked and annoyed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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