11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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