Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
