dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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