How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
