i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
