I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
